Life is a chess game.
I "shouldn't treat people like pawns"
he said. So I began to think.

Maybe that's all they are,
the boys who ask me out,
give me their numbers,
smile when I tell them I almost texted them.
Frown when I repeat the almost.

Yes, it's working.
They're lined up for me,
to protect me,
live for me,
die for me.
My little pawns.
Little playthings.

My rooks, Mama-chan and Uru-nii,
rushing ever forward,
reminding me not to forget simplicity,
frontal attacks and defense.

My parents, the bishops,
reminding me of God's love,
slipping in to help at diagonals.
They can only live in
black or white

My knights,
Tadu-chan,
Jekka-nee.
Protecting me in ways
unexpected.
Important.
I can't conquer without my knights.
Sometimes I even move them first,
out of harm,
to keep myself safe too.

And the queen!
Unconquerable,
she can't be controlled,
contained,
captured.
Feigns defenseless
and springs her trap.
She has no rules or limitations,
she moves as she pleases
where she pleases.
The queen is key,
important,
needed.
Irreplaceable.

The queen is hit!
The world stands still...

Pawns shove forward

into harm's path,

to bring her back.

Many are lost

but she is safe.

She steals more pawns,

rooks,

bishops,

knights!
The queen is unstoppable!

What did they just say?

He is exposed.

What did they say?

Unsafe.

What--?

Alone.

Afraid.

Defenseless.

They repeat themselves.

I've failed him,

couldn't do such a simple thing,

got overconfident,

got the pawns' hopes high,

misunderstood the rooks' advice,

ignored the bishops' quiet strengths

probably even slaughtered the faithful knights.

"Checkmate."

Because a queen is nothing without him.

There was no reason I was here but to do one thing.

And he's gone, taken.

My game is over,

my tricks and traps taken apart.

Because, even through it all,

I could not protect my king.