Feather

So when Mama-chan told me I was this little girl, I liked her being able to know me so well to actually see me in other people. Maybe she was happy that I saw the Tohru in her when I was so like Kisa. I hope so. Kisa never left Tohru's side, and Tohru was happy with Kisa.

So I was this little girl with pink pigtails and I was happy with that until Mama told me I was just a figment of a girl's imagination. A girl like Jekka-nee. And though Mama was looking at me as if I were supposed to be frightened or appalled at the thought of being nonexistent... I wasn't. I was struck with unbelievable happiness when I was formed just because Jekka-nee was lonely. Though I'm not happy about that... imaginary friends can come along without us really realizing we're making them, or it can be intentional. For the first, it's fate, just like Jekka-nee and me meeting, learning about each other... I remember the first time she called me soeur. I had it written on my hand and kept retracing it so it would stay. Only when I was sure it was written in my heart did I let it wash off.
Or maybe it was intentional, which would mean I, the imaginary friend, was wanted. For a little bit, I was needed by her, and there might be something terribly sad about having to disappear, but I don't think so. After all, I'd done my job, hadn't I? I'd kept her safe and secure and happy until I had to hand her off to someone else.

Maybe I'd like to be an imaginary friend. Though Jekka-nee said it was sad, it reminds me of what I'd been thinking during Coraline. I'd thought "I would like to be those button-eyed people. Not the Other Mother, just the people there to make that one person happy, even just for a few hours maybe. I'd like to be able to just focus on that one person and make sure I can make them happy, dedicating my existence to them." And imaginary friends do just that. They can't leave you, they don't want to. They don't want to get you angry, they just want to heal you, help you. Have you learn.

And I'm glad I turned into a feather. Maybe I would've been sad if I'd just disappeared, terrified even. But a feather... a dainty little reminder of a pretty little bird that'd been there once, and was now somewhere else. Still flying? Warm in a nest? Cold on the sidewalk beside a nearly invisible window, because it'd been distracted? Or maybe teaching littler birds how to be like her, to bring a smile and be kind enough to leave when she's not needed, but just selfish enough to leave behind a little feather.